Mortified

Elevator of Spewage

I’ve always been the type of person to ‘walk off’ an injury. I don’t like the attention while I’m in pain so I will immediately walk away from a crowd if something is wrong. Unfortunately, there are some things I can’t walk off, i.e. projectile vomiting.

On the 4th of July weekend, my friends and I had a girl’s night out. One of my friends and I decided to head out while everyone else was finishing up getting ready. We stepped into the elevator that had one guy in it and were chatting, making conversation and having a good time laughing……then it happened.

Something lodged in my throat and started coughing uncontrollably. My friend gave me a wide eyed look and asked if I needed help, so of course I waived her away thinking ‘you can walk this off, you’ll be fine’.

All of the sudden I couldn’t breathe (internal panic ensued), but before I could react, my body took over and like Mount Vesuvius vomit started explosively spewing. I tried covering my mouth and turning to the corner but the vomit was so powerful it launched to the other side of the elevator. As I turned away I looked like a sprinkler, it sprayed the doors and the floor buttons till I finally made it to the corner.

By this time my friend and the other random guy are suctioned against the corner looking at me like I’m the girl from the exorcist. But I wasn’t focusing on them because I still couldn’t breathe and I was violently vomiting.   Finally the doors opened and I RAN out of the elevator mid-spew. I looked for a trashcan but could only find an entry table so I vomited under that for the next minute till I could finally catch my breath.

I finally come out of my vomit coma and think ‘WTF just happened, how the hell did I have that much liquid in my stomach and holy crap I smell bad’. I was covered in the stuff and panicked because I didn’t want anyone to find me this way.  I looked at my friend and told her with an extremely straight face, ‘We need to leave now’, and then I casually, but hastily, walked away. We passed a group of people who were about to enter the elevator of spewage. I looked at my friend with wide eyes and said keep walking. She asked several times if I was ok, and I told her, just wait till we’re away from people.

We stepped outside and I said, “WTF JUST HAPPENED TO ME?! I went from coughing, to not breathing to full on exorcist within a matter of seconds.” We started laughing as I tried making myself presentable because nothing was stopping me from my much needed girls night out. I hope I never see the random elevator guy again and I pray there were no cameras.

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